Seven Years

Next month it will be seven years since I started working at New Hope.  I’m going to reminisce a little bit about how this job came to me during a difficult and sad time in my life.  At the time, I did not think the timing was right, but as I look back now I realize God’s timing was perfect.

After many years of poor health as a result of a debilitating stroke, my mother died on July 1, 2006. I had left the workforce several years earlier and had focused a lot of my energy on supporting my parents through their struggles with Mom’s medical issues. Mom spent the last 15 months of her life in a nursing home and I would make the 45 minute trip to visit her two or three times a week.  When we knew that Mom only had a few weeks to live, my siblings and I made sure that one of us was with her 24 hours a day.  At the time of her death, we were all tired and emotionally drained and I remember thinking that I needed a few months to recharge my batteries.  I was looking forward to spending the rest of the summer with my family and catching up on things around the house that had been neglected way too long. I thought that when September rolled around, I would begin the search for a part-time job.

Due to scheduling conflicts we had a week between my mother’s death and her funeral. It was a time of restlessness and I had a hard time concentrating on anything.  I usually barely glance at our local Advertiser but for some reason that Monday I picked the paper up and browsed through it page by page. I came upon an ad that said a part-time secretary was needed for New Hope Community Life Ministry in Quarryville, PA. I had never heard of it and thought it was probably a church in need of a secretary. It sounded like the type of job I would enjoy, but did I really want to pursue a job right then before my mother was even buried?  I didn’t think so and tried to put it out of my mind. The next day was July 4th and since we really weren’t doing anything I had plenty of time to think. The ad kept surfacing in my mind. Finally, I sat down at the computer and typed up a resume and faxed it to the number listed on the paper. I felt a sense of relief and figured that I would probably never hear anything, but at least I had gotten it off my mind.

To my astonishment, the next day I received a phone call from a Ginger Holler. She said she was the executive director of New Hope and had received my resume and would like to set up an interview with me. Would I be able to come in tomorrow? It’s good she couldn’t see me through the phone because I am pretty sure my mouth was hanging open in surprise. After explaining to her that my mother’s funeral was later that week, we pushed the interview off until the following Tuesday.

A few days after the interview, Ginger offered me the job and I accepted it. By that time, I was aware that it was not a church but a counseling ministry that I would be working for.  I definitely had some reservations and still thought that the timing could have been a lot better.  However, within a few months I was realizing what a blessing this job was and I am thankful that God nudged me to send my resume in and that I did not ignore His gentle persistence.

I have met many people here in this little town of Quarryville during the past seven years. Some have been clients, some have been co-workers , some have been counselors, some have been board members, some have been volunteers at the thrift store, and some have been people that I have met in various places of business here in Quarryville, such as Burger King, Subway, Rite Aid and the bank.  Some people are here for a few months or years and then move on to another job or opportunity or in the case of clients who have received the benefits of counseling, they leave with new hope and determination for their future life.  To many of these people I am just a familiar face or an acquaintance. To some, I am a friend.  In either case, I hope that I have been a presence that people appreciate and feel comfortable with.  I hope that through me, some have seen God’s love. 

I have learned through the years that people and opportunities come and go, but it is how we make the most of the opportunities and relationships that we are given that leave a lasting impression.  I am so thankful for all the people that I have learned to know through my job here at New Hope and even though I have been sad to see some move on to other opportunities and places, I treasure the time spent with them and I truly hope that they remember me as someone who they were glad to cross paths with. I pray that I will continue to be a friend and encourager to those that I interact with here in this little town of Quarryville.

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.  ~ Colossians 3:17

~ Mary Lehman, Secretary

Dad

I am thankful to still have my dad around as we celebrate Father's Day this week. I have learned many things from my dad that have definitely shaped my life.

My dad loves sports so I grew up knowing Tom Landry (with his overcoat and hat), Roger Stauback, the Orioles and the Baltimore Colts. I remember watching the Super Bowl back when it first started.

My dad loves to stop at diner's when we go on a road trip. I love to walk into a diner and try to figure out how good the food will be. My dad and I look no further than the dessert case. If it is full of fresh homemade desserts, we know we will get a good meal. And, we will save room for that homemade dessert.

My dad has always been an avid reader. He would have his stack of books next to him as he settled down to read. In that stack were the Reader's Digest and his Bible. What a privilege to observe my dad reading his Bible on a regular basis. I also always have a stack of books, and my stack also includes my Bible.

No father is perfect. My dad provided for us and I always knew that he loved me. However, he did not demonstrate that love much and was not one to tell us that he loved us. I do know that he prays for me frequently. And, when he was younger he never minded picking me up when I got stranded, no matter how far he had to drive.

When we think about God as our Father, we often think about our earthly Father and want to give God some of those same qualities. We study our fathers unconsciously and often believe God will be like that. However, as I look into God's word, I learn what God as my Father is really like. He is unchanging, He knows all, is over all, has perfect love, is full of grace and mercy. These are some of God's qualities and characteristics.

So, where will I learn about God and what He is really like? Will I just look at my father and other dads that I know? Or, will I study God's Word and learn to know the God of the Bible, the God who is my eternal Father and loves me perfectly?

Deb Riddell
Closet Manager

When We're Hard on Ourselves

I've returned to New Hope after a nine month leave-of-absence. I'm glad to be back. I've learned a few things that I think will be helpful to my clients. That's the sweetness of redemption...God can take the troubles of our lives and use them to teach us and then bless others.

The leave-of-absence was difficult for me. Health problems, financial stress, relational conflict and family drama were the norm. I struggled with some burnout symptoms that shocked me...I didn't feel like myself.

Like a lot of people, I'm hard on myself. As the quote says, "We are our own worst critic." When we look into our true feelings and thoughts, we recognize some pretty ugly stuff. Stuff that creates turmoil both inwardly and outwardly. And because I've learned the skills of a counselor, it's pretty easy to self-analyze to a fault.

But there are times when analyzing and critiquing must stop. When we use "should" and "shouldn't" too much. When we think we're at fault or responsible for other people's issues. When we're too perfectionistic or obsessive about our looks or reputations.

I know the analysis and criticism needs to stop when I hear God gently whisper to my soul, "Shannon, rest. Be still. Just sit here with me and relax for a bit." He says it to me when I'm fretting about my imperfections. Or when I'm listing my mistakes. Self-condemnation is a troubling habit for many of us.

I'm blessed to know that the Lord says, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1-2). It is freeing to rest in His truths; to know the unconditional love He has lavished on us. To remember that no matter what the flaw or sin, He doesn't condemn me. I need not condemn myself either.

~Shannon Shertzer, MS, NCC

Growing in Jesus' Love -- Together! - Part 2

Part 2: Wanting this world less - frees us to love more

Our Lord’s beloved apostle, John, deals directly and concisely with some of humanity’s most difficult impediments to truly loving God in his first epistle to the churches. These barriers and fallacies ultimately cut off our intimacy with Jesus and our empowerment from Him, diminishing any ability to truly love others with His amazing love.

In just 3 verses, John focuses with laser like precision on our relationship to the world system that surrounds and influences all of us. Guided by the Holy Spirit in his writing, and by the wisdom gained through decades of walking out his own faith journey while leading many others also, he is able to pinpoint the main connection of this world to our own shortcomings.

These weaknesses are inherent in our fallen condition, distorted and damaged faculties that cause us to be attracted to the wrong things, succumb to their allurements, and make bad choices, based on our own internal desires, focusing on whatever we can get out of this fallen global system for ourselves:

1 JOHN 2:15 Do not love or cherish the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him.  

16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh [craving for sensual gratification] and the lust of the eyes [greedy longings of the mind] and the pride of life [assurance in one’s own resources or in the stability of earthly things]—these do not come from the Father but are from the world [itself]. 

17 And this world passes away and disappears, and with it the forbidden cravings (the passionate desires, the lust) of it; but he who does the will of God carries out His purposes and abides forever.

John defines our real problem immediately, by juxtaposing our loving and cherishing this world with authentically loving our heavenly Father.

The amazing thing about his presentation of this specific contrast, is that he purposely uses the special Greek word agape in a way not typical of its regular use in the New Testament.

Agape usually denotes either God’s self-sacrificing love for us, or our willing, Spirit-empowered love given freely for others.

John tells us in these texts, that we can actually agapao this world system, which indicates much more than mere affection or attraction. Various translators use terms such as to cherish, or consider as precious, or give our hearts to, as phrases to help us understand the depth and intensity of this kind of distorted love for the world.

Simply put, John is saying do not surrender yourselves, in a kind of worship of the world or even of the things that are in it!

This is a re-phrasing of Jesus’ own words to all His followers that “you cannot serve both God and mammon (unrighteous gaining of riches as your god).” 

John describes our cosmos world system in terms of human faculties shared by each person, which have been twisted away from beholding and desiring all that the living God is and does, to seek after selfish pleasure, purely human potential and position, or personal power.

This incredibly complex interactive matrix of many millions of individuals living by and for their own ends for generations, creates the composite corporate reality of our societies and cultures developing over centuries outside of purposeful and intentional involvement with God.

The sad and painful result of this corporate reality is a multiplicity of deep and dark spiritual cesspools, filled with deceit and false glamour to entice and entrap each of us.

When John states that these things do not come from the Father, the beloved apostle draws a bright line between any desires we may consider entertaining, which misuse these God given faculties for our own purposes in pursuing what the world has to offer us, instead of being used for their true purpose: glorifying our Father and passionately wanting fellowship with Him through Jesus our Lord.

The strong warning concluding this section of Scripture that all of these lesser forbidden things of the world and of our own sin natures will pass away and disappear, also reminds us not to become caught up in the fleeting and fatuous flirtations offered to us constantly by the world. Unfortunately, we are trained by many ungodly experiences to instantaneously welcome these temptations with our self-oriented senses.

Our battle is won as we turn quickly away from self-fulfillment, not permitting any of these darts of the enemy to pull us aside, even for a moment, from the true course that the Lord has laid out for each of us.

These darts can also become lodged in our hearts, sitting like selfish time bombs triggered and ready to bring destruction at some later point, if we don’t throw them off complete, to continue our faith race, with eyes focused again only on Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-3).

When we turn away unto our Lord Jesus, we may consider His exalted majesty, His manifold perfections, and His infinite power. All of these attributes, and many more, are worthy of our meditations.

The Bible points us specifically to that special resting place, about which mature members of the Body of Christ can confirm and testify, where our thoughts of Jesus find great fulfillment, by affirming the love that is resident in and through Him for all people.

When we are reaffirmed in this truth, we are also specifically receiving again and again from the Spirit of God, the needed message that His love is in the here and now for each of us, even as we are learning how to love others first in the here and now!

All this also reminds us that we are made and then adopted by our eternal God, to live forever with Him in His love and grace. This bedrock fact re-energizes our willingness to do His will.

When we love imbued with our faith, and in the full knowledge of His love, obedience is never a matter of fearful submission, fawning pretension, nor of self-energized procurement of our salvation.

Our acceptance of the Father’s will is exactly the same as Jesus displayed in all that He did, based solely in the true knowledge that God is Love personified and epitomized (1John 4:8), and His greatest purposes are to use us as His choice vessels to live in and show forth His love to so many others that we come in contact with every single day!

When we choose daily to abide in Him, we are abiding primarily in the very love with which He first loved us (1John 4:19), flowing into us as peace and joy, and flowing through us over time as more faithfulness, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and self control in loving others (Galatians 5:22-24) in the Spirit, serving and considering them as better than ourselves (Philippians 2:2-10).

It is this special kind of God’s loving kindness that rises up with faith in our hearts, to overpower the sin nature remaining within each of us, and to overcome the world’s influences and infections all around us!

--Neil Uniacke
Executive Director

Forgiveness

I've been thinking about forgiveness. As I work with individuals, couples and families, I find that one of the most powerful actions a person can engage in is forgiveness. It can also be one of the most difficult things to do in relationships, especially where one has experienced deep hurt. Following are some key concepts about forgiveness that I share with clients in the counseling setting:

 What is forgiveness? It is defined as the willingness to let go of self-harming or ineffective forms of anger, choosing instead to turn over ultimate resolution of the wrong to God.

What forgiveness is not:

û  Letting go of healthy forms of anger.

û  Allowing family members to continue to disrespect your needs and boundaries.

û  Lying down and becoming a human doormat.

û  Telling your family member the past is no longer significant and everything's fine now.

û  Pretending to go back to normal relations as if nothing happened.

û  Denying that you may still have to live with pain caused by the wrongful deed.

Forgiveness does not always eliminate all your pain nor does it mean that you will never feel emotions such as anger, grief or disappointment associated with the wrong that was done against you.

Forgiveness does mean:

ü  You will let go of the demand for repayment, particularly as you have exhausted all reasonable attempts at restitution or restoration.

ü  You will free yourself to focus on rewarding relationships and pursuits.

ü  You will choose to give up any obsessions regarding your family member, instead that you have better things to give your attention to.

ü  You will be willing to refrain from ongoing temptations to insult your family member or exact revenge in some way.

ü  You will let go of any illusions that you might somehow control your family member's  life.

ü  You will not spend significant amounts of energy attempting to prove that you were right and your family member was wrong.

ü  You will be forward looking about life, realizing that new opportunities await you.

ü  You will give yourself permission to make life choices that will lead to contentment and peace.

Forgiveness takes time. It is more a prolonged struggle than an easily made choice. Forgiveness is a series of choices made by aggrieved former or current marriage partners in the face of daily life events that remind them of their past relationship.

Forgiveness often occurs in small increments and sporadic setbacks are typical, especially in situations where the violation of trust and partnership is particularly deep and hurtful.

Remember the words of the Lord's prayer: "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us."

Submitted by Tom Horst, Marriage and Family Therapist

New Hope Community Life Ministry

Thank God for Mother

Yesterday, as we celebrated Mother's Day, I thought about my own mother who is now in heaven with the Lord. But, I also thought about all godly mothers like her. I want to share this poem. Let's be thankful for our mothers--not just on Mother's Day--but every day.

 

Thank God for Mother's Love

 

 

There is no love, like a mother's love,

no stronger bond on earth...

like the precious bond that comes from God,

to a mother, when she gives birth.

 

A mother's love is forever strong,

never changing for all time...

and when her children need her most,

a mother's love will shine.

 

God bless these special mothers,

God bless them every one...

for all the tears and heartache,

and for the special work they've done.

 

When her days on earth are over,

a mother's love lives on...

through many generations,

with God's blessings on each one.

 

Be thankful for our mothers,

for they love with a higher love...

from the power God has given,

and the strength from up above.

 

--Anonymous

 

Ann Gantt, Ph.D., LCSW

New Hope Counselor



Be Still...

As the weather becomes warmer we have different responsibilities: yard work, gardens, flower beds, outdoor activities, etc. We become so caught up with the frenzy of activity that we often forget to just "Be Still" and listen to God and appreciate the beauty around us. Psalm 46:10 reminds us to "Be still, and know that I am God" and in Psalm 37:7 we are reminded to "wait patiently for Him".

How many times have we said "I can't wait for..." and when the day comes we never have enough time or we complain about what needed to be done so we could enjoy the day? Perhaps that only happens to me. Spring is amazing with all of the newness of life unfolding, blossoms on the trees and flowers blooming; however, how often do we really STOP and notice? Are we too busy with our life that we forget to "stop and smell the roses"?

We need to be refreshed just like the seasons. Jesus even needed time to get away from the crowds to just "Be Still" and reflect and talk to God. I have a picture of a solitary tree that has "Be Still..." in  my office. It is a simple reminder to me to take the time I need to refresh and be healthy and whole in Christ!

Elaine Campbell, MA