Monday, June 3, 2013

When We're Hard on Ourselves

I've returned to New Hope after a nine month leave-of-absence. I'm glad to be back. I've learned a few things that I think will be helpful to my clients. That's the sweetness of redemption...God can take the troubles of our lives and use them to teach us and then bless others.

The leave-of-absence was difficult for me. Health problems, financial stress, relational conflict and family drama were the norm. I struggled with some burnout symptoms that shocked me...I didn't feel like myself.

Like a lot of people, I'm hard on myself. As the quote says, "We are our own worst critic." When we look into our true feelings and thoughts, we recognize some pretty ugly stuff. Stuff that creates turmoil both inwardly and outwardly. And because I've learned the skills of a counselor, it's pretty easy to self-analyze to a fault.

But there are times when analyzing and critiquing must stop. When we use "should" and "shouldn't" too much. When we think we're at fault or responsible for other people's issues. When we're too perfectionistic or obsessive about our looks or reputations.

I know the analysis and criticism needs to stop when I hear God gently whisper to my soul, "Shannon, rest. Be still. Just sit here with me and relax for a bit." He says it to me when I'm fretting about my imperfections. Or when I'm listing my mistakes. Self-condemnation is a troubling habit for many of us.

I'm blessed to know that the Lord says, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1-2). It is freeing to rest in His truths; to know the unconditional love He has lavished on us. To remember that no matter what the flaw or sin, He doesn't condemn me. I need not condemn myself either.

~Shannon Shertzer, MS, NCC

1 comment:

Ginger H said...

Thanks for your wise words here!! Glad you are back at NH!