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I was a happy
young boy growing up with my parents on the Georgia farm, but then I started
the transition for boyhood to adulthood. I no longer liked what my parents were
doing for me; I wanted to live on my own and have fun. I was convinced that I
knew more than they and that the spiritual atmosphere of my home was keeping me
from having a good time and was keeping me from becoming successful in life.
I started
partying and hanging out with all the wrong people in my Georgia community. My
parents were worried sick and so they asked me if I would want to move to
Pennsylvania where some of my parents’ relatives lived. At first I didn’t want
to, but then I thought I might have more freedom in Pennsylvania and be able to
live it up more, so I agreed to move. Luke 15:13 says the conceited young man
took off for a distant country, and Lancaster County in Pennsylvania was my
distant country.
This lost son
(me), wanted to “sow his wild oats” – he wanted to have a “fling.” I had not yet
learned that one of God’s unchangeable laws it that we reap what we sow. I was
attracted by the allurements of the world and I misused my money, in other
words, I had my fling; I invested my life in sinful pleasures. I believed that
to be happy one must indulge in the pleasures of the world and really live it
up! So I partied hard and got drunk every weekend. I bought my first car and
wasted my money and also started going out with a young woman who was way too
young for me. I crossed sexual boundaries with her and then one night we were
caught by the police.
The arrest
made me understand that I had reached the end of my out-of-control road. I had
run against a wall, so to speak; as it was with the lost son in Luke 15, I had
“run out of money.” My “friends” all left me and I didn’t know what to do. I
actually thought about taking my own life, but something kept me from doing
that.
The police
came to my house one day and took me to prison. I thought my charges would go
away and I would be free, but instead, I found myself in the worst kind of
bondage. Such is the power of sin; it usually starts off as a small, seemingly
innocent thing, but continues to grow. I squandered my money, lost my
“inheritance,” wasted all the spiritual things I had learned, and now I found
myself in prison. I was in a deep pit emotionally, and really depressed. The
four walls of my prison cell made me sick. This is the picture of the condition
of every sinful person. Sin may satisfy for a short time, but soon brings one
to a place of unhappiness and disappointment.
I sat in
prison and began to think of my home and my parents in Georgia, and how good I
had it there. I asked one of the prison guards for a Bible and began reading.
My spiritual values had been twisted and lost by my months of rebellion and
wild living, but now I was beginning to see life more clearly, from a spiritual
point of view. I began to realize that not only had I done evil things, but I
had sinned against God and my family, and I had also, through my immoral actions,
harmed another person and her family.
Luke 15:17
says “he came to himself” – that is, he reflected on what had happened since he
left home; this is exactly what I was doing now. I remembered the days of my
childhood when I used to play with my older brother; I remembered the smell of
the good old farm, and the bedtime prayers my parents taught me when I was a
little boy. God permits hardship and “famine” to come into our lives in order
to cause us to think on what we really have or have had in life.
These
thoughts brightened into a resolution: I would return to God. That night I got
down on my knees in my cell, I cried and prayed, and told God I had sinned and
wanted to come back to him. I confessed all my sin to God and asked for his
forgiveness and began to feel the weight of my sin lift from off my shoulders.
In that same
spirit of confession and repentance I wrote numerous letters to people I had
wronged and told them of the change in my life, confessed my sin to them, and
asked their forgiveness. I was also able to talk with my parents on the phone
and confess to them. To my astonishment, everyone rejoiced when they read the
letters I had sent them and they wrote back to me and assured me I was
forgiven. My father also traveled the 1000-plus miles just to see me; when we
met in the prison Dad greeted me with open arms, a kiss, and crying at the same
time! I will never forget his words of forgiveness to me.
I am still in
prison, but I have made a 180 degree change and am looking forward to a new
life when I get out in a few months. I will always remember, with gratitude,
this picture in Luke 15 of God as a loving Father who delights in forgiving his
lost children who return to him. He longs to see people lay aside their sinful
lifestyle and come to repentance. The road back home for me was hard and
humbling and required confession and repentance, but God is waiting to forgive
anyone who comes to him! I also learned that the true Christian brother/sister
rejoices when a lost son/daughter repents; he/she will never look coldly on
some poor sinner who limps back to Father God!
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Jeff was
released from prison in May 2013. He is now living with family relatives in
central Pennsylvania and doing well.
Submitted by
Tom Horst
Marriage and
Family Therapist
