"Tension"

For the last several months I have been feeling "tension" in  my life in several areas. I am not alone in this. I was talking to several friends from high school and they were feeling overwhelmed with full time jobs, family obligations and helping with aging parents. We feel "tension" because we have so many obligations and we do not know how we will have the time to do everything we feel we need to do. Or, how we will have time for our own refreshment.

I also feel "tension" at my job. Because I work in retail, the bottom line is how our sales are doing day in and day out. It becomes easy for me to think I am doing a good job when sales are good, but I can lose sleep when things are not going as well as I would like them to go. I can become obsessed with all of the jobs that need to be done each day.

However, I need to always remember what is really most important at work each day. Yes, the sales and the bottom line are important. But, when I allow that to be more important than the volunteers and the customers, I focus on the wrong thing. I feel a frequent "tension" to make sure I keep my eyes on the best thing and that is loving others. That seems easy to do when I spend time with God each morning. It is another thing when I walk into the door of the store and I come face to face with difficult situations and people that are sometimes hard to love.

And now it is Christmas and the Advent season. Wow, do I feel "tension." The world tells me how to have a "perfect" Christmas by decorating a certain way, baking all the right things and buying the right presents. It all makes me feel like I should not sleep between now and Christmas so I can get all the things done that will make my Christmas perfect.

But, is that what I want my Christmas and my Advent to be about this year? Or, do I want to take time this month to prepare my heart for the greatest gift the world has ever received, a baby come to earth. And so, I have been taking time this short and hectic season to focus on the greatest gift I ever received. I have been trying to spend some time in silence and solitude to listen for the quiet words that God wants to speak into my heart each day. I have been reading a Christmas devotional by Ann Voskamp called "The Greatest Gift." My heart has been touched by God's grace, love, patience and tenderness to me as this book takes us through scriptures to the coming birth of Jesus. What an example Jesus is to me as I remember that He willingly left the splendor of heaven to come to earth--for me.

And so, I will continue to feel "tension" as I walk through my life day by day. It is the "tension" of knowing how I want to live to please the God who loves me, but also knowing that I live in a world full of sin. I will continue to ask questions, and work through this "tension." My desire is to learn to keep my eyes on the things that truly matter for eternity. I will be asked if I am ready for Christmas. I hope my answer will be that I am preparing both my home and my heart for this Christmas season.

Deb Riddell
Closet Manager