"Sandwiched"

This time of year is usually reserved for reflections or goal setting and you may wonder how this topic fits in with either of them. Well, I have been thinking about this for 16 or more years, so that makes it a reflection, and I will get to the goal setting at the end of the blog.

In May of 1994, when I was 6 months pregnant with my youngest child, my 68-year-old mother had a debilitating stroke. I spent the next 3 months juggling my time between my family, which included my husband and 3 sons, and my parents, while at the same time dealing with the latter stages of my pregnancy. My mother was hospitalized for almost 2 months, and when she came home she was a mere shell of the woman that we had known before. Our daughter, Megan, was born in August and she was a much-needed blessing for all of us. As we dealt with the reality that a full recovery was not going to happen for my mother, the sweetness, cuteness and innocence of an infant was a breath of fresh air in an often otherwise gloomy atmosphere.

It was at this time, that I began to hear a lot about the Sandwich Generation and I realized that I was indeed one of them. The Sandwich Generation is described as "those caring for their children as well as their own aging parents." Fortunately my dad was fairly healthy so was able to help my mother, but I spent a lot of time with them, supporting them however I could, both emotionally and physically. I remember vividly going shopping and on one side of me holding my hand was my mother, and on the other side of me holding my hand was Megan. I was truly the middle of the sandwich.

I am not complaining about being the middle of the sandwich. Truthfully, I think I am a better person because of it. It taught me love and compassion and opened my eyes to the many people who are suffering around me, especially the elderly. Even though it was extremely hard to watch my mother struggle to do the simplest things, I realized that I had the opportunity to make her life more enjoyable by spending time with her, encouraging her and loving her. A side benefit was the relationship that developed between Megan and my mother as they also spent time together. I grieved because I felt like Megan never got a chance to know her "real" grandma but eventually I realized it didn't matter. Megan loved her for who she was and my mother benefited as well because Megan did not expect her to do things that she couldn't but just accepted her the way she was.

My mother died in 2006, my children grew up, and I no longer have daily child and elder care responsibilities. However, often my life is still one big juggling act. I am a wife, grandmother, mother, mother-in-law, daughter, daughter-in-law, secretary, Sunday School teacher, Bible quiz coach, and the list could go on. Sometimes, it feels like I am being squeezed in the middle of a sandwich again.

As I have thought about this over the years, I realized that Jesus lived in the Sandwich Generation. Was he sometimes pulled between his heavenly home and his earthly home? Because he came as a "middleman" I am saved from spending eternity in hopeless damnation. I suggest that we no longer look at being "sandwiched" as a negative thing, but view it as a positive thing. We are the "meat" in the middle of a sandwich and this gives us so many opportunities to be a blessing to those who surround us.

So, as I bid farewell to 2011 and greet 2012, I do indeed have a goal for the New Year. I resolve to find ways to encourage and enrich the lives of those who are the "bread" of my sandwich.

~Mary Lehman