Friday, July 15, 2011

Forgiveness

Recently, a client and I were talking about how God redeems the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). She had struggled in deep depression for several years. Sadness and pain consumed her life. She was the mother of four children and found herself incapable of caring for them. She was dependent on her extended family to do the most basic chores. She felt ashamed that she couldn't function normally. Doctors prescribed drug after drug. Nothing seemed to work and she lived in a medicated stupor for too long.

Those sad years were formative for her family. Her children struggled through adolescence without the nurturing hand of their mother to guide them. She watched with no ability to help as they tried to navigate value and life decisions. With no energy and a foggy mind, she wallowed in shame and discouragement. Now, even though she lives from a hope-filled place, my client still struggles with guilt that she wasn't capable of mothering her boys. She feels a heavy burden that she is responsible for the past depression and the resulting struggles of her sons. Their relationships have been strained.

Yet, there is hope. My client's husband was a rock for her as they all suffered through her illness. Last winter, as she began to experience hope, she and her husband had what she described as a "healing conversation." As she poured out her shame and sorrow for not being there for him and the children, she exclaimed, "I'm so sorry." To which he quickly and matter-of-factly replied, "You're forgiven." No questions. No hesitation. He had no problem forgiving his wife. His love had been strong throughout her illness and that love is strong as she heals.

A beautiful benefit of this experience of forgiveness was that my client saw displayed in a human relationship what God has done for her spiritually. "I have no problems now believing God's forgiveness," she explained. And after years of feeling ashamed and guilt-filled, that is something to celebrate.

Shannon Shertzer, MS, NCC

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