Preteen and Teen Development

A second tool in the Strengthening Families Program is to understand preteen and teen development.

Life seemed quite predictable when my son and two daughters were in grade school. Sure there were squabbles, and they had to be pushed to do homework or chores. But you basically knew how they might behave in most situations.

Then came the preteen years! Each one went through many changes, physically, emotionally, socially, even spiritually. They each became more independent and even challenged authority in their own way. It is NORMAL for kids this age to want to be more independent and want to spend more time with their friends. Most want to spend more time by themselves, too, which can make a parent even feel forgotten or ignored or snubbed.

Kids may talk back to you and be "smart alecks." They need to know that THIS is not appropriate behavior; they may need consequences to help reinforce this.

BUT it is NORMAL for pre-teens and teens to act their age. Because that in fact is what they are!!

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man (or woman), I put childish ways behind me" (1 Corinthians 13:11). This verse is at the end of the famous "love chapter." Paul says that of faith, hope, and love, LOVE is the greatest of all.

Lord, help me to LOVE my children where they are, even during the hard times, just the way you love me all the time.